Need Money: 10 Reasons Ferraris are for losers

I just opened a link to a new "make money online" book and featured prominently on the sale page was purpotedly the author standing next to his Ferrari. The car, it is implied, was purchased with all the bucks he made online.

I like making money online and enjoy reading stories about others who are more successful at it than me. It is motivational. However, I would never make a million dollars and quickly go out and buy a Ferrari. Why? Ferraris are for losers. Here's why...

Cars are lousy investments - A new Ferrari goes for $180,000.00 to over 300,000.00. A used 308 can be found for less than $35,000.00. Unlike a house or stocks, cars drop in value from the moment they are driven off the sales lot. Only a loser puts so much money is such a bad investment.

Insurance costs a fortune for a Ferrari - Call your car insurance agent and ask how much a policy on that Ferrari will cost. Only a loser would tack that much on to his monthly bills.

Where do you park a Ferrari? Get used to driving that Ferrari because you will never feel secure enough to park it anywhere except in the garage at home. Someone may ding the door, key it out of jealousy or worse, steal it. No rest for the loser Ferrari driver.

Ferrari drivers are compensating for something - Every Ferrari driver I see is a middle aged (or older!) man. Sure, you made some coin and can afford the car, but what are you trying to prove by flaunting it around? Worse, what shortcoming is the Ferrari driver trying to make up for? Hmmm..

L-O-S-E-R.

Ferrari wreck repairs will require a second mortgage - Imagine how much a replacement door, front quarter panel or hood goes for at the Ferrari body shop? Now, how cool is that car, loser?

Ferraris are a waste of speed - Loser: "My Ferrari tops out at 185MPH." Me: "Wow. So which street can you drive that fast on? How about half that fast? Ummmm... nowhere. Now why did you buy that car?"

Ferraris are eye candy - To cops. Especially the kind who like exotic cars they can never afford but who like to hand out tickets. May I see your license and proof of overpriced insurance, loser?

Young guys who drive Ferraris are dorks - Either they inherited the money to buy it or Daddy gave it to them for their 21st birthday. No need to get a sign which says Loser, the car does it for you.

Who buys a car they can only drive one day a week for show? Especially a $250,000.00 car? Give me a L! Give me an O! Give me a S! Give me a E! Give me an R! What's it spell?

Top 10 reason Ferraris are for losers - Loser: "Ferraris are great for picking up chicks."

Me: "Sure, if the girl is a money grubbing, gold digger who wants to be seen with anybody, even a dork, who drives a $250,000.00 car. But don't worry, I am sure she likes you for your personality."

Forget it. I'll take the Ferrari money, buy a Honda for cash and stick the rest in the bank. That way when the market crashes and the economy tanks I will have a reliable car and some greenbacks to enjoy life with. Who knows? Maybe I will buy the loser's Ferrari for $35,000.00 when he goes broke.